Dream Entry 1

Someone challenged me to begin journaling or drawing my dreams. 

Challenge taken.

Go Lump Yourself

I completed 9 assignments at work today. 

I listed them out on a piece of paper, 1-9.

Check! #1, done... Check! #2, finished... Check! #3, history... Check! #4, eat my dust... You get the picture. While observing my list, I'm thinking about the numbers (1-9). I visualize their personalities, what color they are and how they relate to each other. For instance, do they like each other? Male or female? Are they friends? Which number's the popular kid and which one gets his ass kicked on a weekly basis? You know, that clicky stereotypical stuff. These visual thoughts or sensory associations (assigning colors/genders/personalities to inanimate objects) have occurred since my childhood, remain consistent yet naturally evolve, becoming more refined in detail with age, relational experience and human interaction. The mental associations involuntarily happen, it's nothing I conjure up. Some objects definitely stir up a stronger sense of it than others. Numbers more so than letters, silverware more than plates etc. The number-color-personality association is often the most obvious, for me anyway. See my examples below...yes, they are highly stereotypical but it's all in good fun.

The number...

0 - White - He's wise. Silent observer. Calm. When he speaks, listen. Werther's Original candies and dental floss in his pocket at all times.

1 - Dark Grey - He's shy, highly intelligent but not expressive and somewhat robotic. Very clean. Works in the accounting department. Goes home alone and settles down with Reader's Digest and Sudoku. Introvert. The weird neighbor. Cat person.

2 - Scarlet Red - She's pretty and smart, yet bossy and a bit of a diva (by the way, I can't stand the word "diva" but I used it anyway). Lots of guys ask her out but she tends to pick them apart in her mind and steamroll them. As a child she always told her friends what to wear and how to act. "1" had a crush on her all through school yet lacked the guts to tell her.

3 - Crayola Box Yellow - Female. Think "Thelma" on Scooby Doo. That is all.

4 - Pea Green - He's Bizarre. Usually quiet but waves a freak flag if the mood hits him just right. Probably went to school dressed like a ninja in February and obsessively played Dungeons and Dragons. Loves World of Warcraft and makes most of his money selling junk on eBay. Makes out with "3" on occasion.

5 - American Flag Blue - His country club dad is proud of him cause he's good at sports....Athlete, letter-jacket, trophies, the whole works. Super outgoing, cold beer, Chevy Blazer. Thinks Nickelback is effin awesome. 

6 - Pumpkin Orange - She prolly has tattoos but only a few. Doesn't need to be noticed or crave attention. Dry yet quirky sense of humor. "5" bores her to tears but she'll make out with him a few times cause he's cute. Loves the occasional slasher flick. 

7 - Ice Blue - It's a boy! A very confident male in fact. He's a natural leader. Loves kids. Mom and dad approved. He's razor sharp and straight edge. Likes to pat backs and encourage others. "Mom, this meatloaf is delicious!"

8 - Black - He likes to shake magic eight balls, wear trench coats and stare at people from dark corners. Loves saying the word "debacle" cause he likes the clicky sound it makes on the roof of his mouth. Ticking bomb. Buds with "4".

9 - Brownish - He wants to hug...all the time...bear style. Sometimes he doesn't shower but the manly odor suites him well. He loves you. He loves everyone. Makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich. Jam bands.

Now you get the idea. So like most sheeple (right?), I turned to Google.. And you know there's gonna be a gazillion others who beat you to the search, further proving your self-imposed idea of unique and creative grandeur is just another wad of gum under a chair...in the mall. Alright, that's a gross exaggeration but it sounded kinda neat. So anyway, I search "numbers have personalities" and Wiki tells me it has a name, Synesthesia - a "neurological condition". Say huh? Why have I never heard this term? I mean, I'm fairly artistic. Granted, I'd never can my own feces and call it art (this has been done) but I am wee bit out there. Oh well, guess this fun way of thinking was bagged, tagged, and sold to the butcher before I ever slept through psych class.....nurh......Hooray for another category to put or not put ourselves in. 

Store Windows Of My Mind

A reminder to myself.
Stop, breathe and remember how big God is.

Oh and one more thing...
Picking out what your goose will wear the night before reduces stress the following day.

Tennessee Ergonomics

What's your pain telling you? Mine told me to hack up my desk pronto. So last week, with a little help from my co-workin' pals, that's exactly what we did. My work station has transformed into an ergonomic paradise. A happy place filled with 90 degree angles, upright spines, and elbow-level surfaces. After months of shoulder, neck and back pain I've longed for such a place. I seriously could not continue popping naproxen and bumming hydros, that's no way to live. Desperate times call for desperate measures and my desperate measure involved sawing five inches off of my desk's legs, a chunky catalog, ball chair and vertical mouse. I'm aware it looks kinda goofy but at this point, I don't give a rip how it looks. The constant aching put me on the brink of nuttiness and I felt like breaking stuff, sometimes people's faces. Pain makes you cranky! It has this way of surfacing your inner yucky-pucks (Katie, that was for you)....definitely not me at my best. It's time to grab the power tools and kick those things to the curb. Thanks to all who've helped make this possible for me ; ).

Vertical mouse don't play...Check out that chrome.

Screen not eye level? Nothing a chunky catalog can't fix.

These models pose for my TN ergo photo session.

Final thoughts - If you have a desk job, do what you can now to make it ergonomically correct. It's worth it.....Or stay pissy forever and possibly morph into a shell person. And to my fellow employees, be on the look-out for a new, slightly warmer and cheerier me. I've already promised baked goods.

Sunday's Gem

Although there are exceptions, seeking the right time in the wrong place is often crushing.

 Literally.

Conclusion: Don't play in door jambs.

My Monday Poetry

Bitterness turns people into shells.

No, I don't hear the ocean. 

I think that's your toilet.

(photo courtesy of Google image search "seashell toilet")

Stay Tuned...

Still gathering thoughts and other things of that nature. 

Shower Power

More baby stuff... 

Top eight things needed for a full-on-off-the-chainz baby shower...

1.  sweet pregnant lady

2.  friends & family

3.  no baby games

4.  no food games

5.  pregnant belly cake

6.  no games in general

7.  placenta jello ring

8.  cool gifts

Storm Snappin'

Taking photos of stuff in the car helps pass the time when you're stuck in the parking lot during a hail storm.....try it!

Yesterday...

I payed $1.99 for sixteen white babies....

.....and $1.99 for three additional white soft babies......

Now that's a total of nineteen white babies for under $4.00.

Housekeeping 101

Feeling Lonely?

Or need a creepy cooing fix? Get it from Target....middle aisle, toy section...

The Waitress's Speech

I was riding my bike down town when I decided to stop and snoop around the internally demolished Macleod's Irish Pub (or used to be). This classy karaoke hot-spot just happened to be my place of employment a little over a decade ago. One of the gazillion restaurants/pub jobs I held during my roaring twenties.

So I go inside, start shuffling around and memories are surfacing. Mostly of a few folks I worked with, two ladies in particular. First, this early forty something hyper-granola girl, not the typical jam band following trustafarian type but closer to the fruit loop type. During break time she'd speak of various activism efforts gone awry and her favorite hippy hobbies consisting mainly of grass smoking, acid dropping, and physically rolling in flower beds (well, guess we had a few things in common). But this girl would tie herself to T-Dot trucks, wander parking lots slapping earth-first stickers on Escalades and camp in trees three days on end. Unfortunately, her efforts landed her in jail, roads were still expanded and trees were still hacked. Gotta give her an "A" for effort at least. The thing I found highly peculiar was how she nonchalantly giggled about these fizzled fiascos as if the causes she so boldly fought for, in reality, held no importance to her whatsoever. 

The next girl coming to mind trained me my first week. Boy was she ever mean! She bitterly bossed the heck out of people and wore her seniority like a neon sign, flicking it on every time we needed something. But here's the kicker, she stuttered....horribly. I watched "The King's Speech" the other night and consistently thought of her throughout the movie. And listen folks, I'd never make light of someone's physical uncontrollables, that's ALL KINDS of wrong. But I won't lie, the idea was definitely entertained. My darker side wanted full on no-holds-barred retaliation! That's right, I wanted her to feel as horrid as I felt in the wake of her extreme bitchiness. And with my twenty two year old piss-poor attitude and unbridled tongue, it's surprising I kept my cool. Looking back, I'm glad I did. Who knows what she'd been through, probably some messed up stuff. You know, it sorta feels bad thinking about it now, wish I'd been kinder. Oh well, you live and you learn right? And I can't beat myself up too much. As time passed, we did actually become friendlier with one another and her stammer lessened (around me at least).....that movie was fabulous by the way.

Welcome to Macleod's! Smoking, non, or landfill section?

      This drink station appears to be out of order.

Bring on the drunk frat daddies!!

"Illogical Affair"

Today's blogtastic plan is to write a quick and short review of a new album I heard this past week. No Pitchfork-esque write-up but merely a simple "how this music speaks to me" note. A week ago, musical artist Joshua Rosen contacted me via lastfm email and asked if I would review his new album on my blog. It was kinda cool. And no, he doesn't know me from Adam but his listener fan base is relatively small and I happened to be the sole commenter on his page, or better yet, the sole shouter in his shout box thus making me a prime target. In this case however, I was happy to be hit. And well, I sorta felt sorry for him....haha.... oh I'm kidding. Seriously, the message in his music is awesome and spreading it around makes me feel good.

"Illogical Affair", released in late April, is Rosen's second record. Keep in mind, I'm only a happy listener and not your typical techy music reviewer/writer so please bare with my simplicity. The album is highly spiritual but not religious, and thankfully it doesn't have that extreme Christian radio sound. I'd name a few bands that fit this bill but I figure that's a fruitless endeavor. And again, these are my personal thoughts, to each his own. The new record's musical style is primarily folk, lots of acoustic guitar, soft vocals and occasional trumpets (which were a lovely addition). However, the appeal of Rosen's music is more personal than instruments and vocals. The author of his lastfm bio states it well, "I'm pretty sure he didn't write all these songs in the woods somewhere. No, the intrigue and richness of this music comes not through fabled lore or even musical prowess, but rather in his person." That is so true! You'll find no spousal rights, late nights or whiskey fights on this record. Mistakenly, I blew through the first listen and didn't fully take it in until I sat down, got quiet, and concentrated on the music/message. I tell ya, it's meaty stuff. A close friend of mine always says "it's like steak!"...and no need for A1 (which I find gross anyway), there's plenty of flavor here...nurh....Corniness aside, the lyrics resonated with me the second time around and I even got a little misty eyed. His songs are filled with restoration, transformation, taking off the old, putting on the new, boldness, unity and simply enjoying God. It reminded me how one touch or simple word is often more life changing than a thousand sermons. You'll also find praise in the mix and honest depictions of struggles we face as flawed humans living in a world of full of fears, distractions, empty pleasures and limitations. If you pay this album proper attention, it'll strike a few heart strings regardless of your beliefs. So get dinner out of the way, feed your dog, put earphones on, quiet your mind and head to the closet...

http://joshuarosen.bandcamp.com/album/illogical-affair

Shark Man

Most neighborhoods have a token crazy person. The fun kind of crazy. At least that's my experience. And please note: I'm not referring to folks that make puppy skin pocket books and hack up bunnies. But a milder level of crazy....perhaps bizarre, eccentric or quirky are better (more PC) descriptives. Their expressions of nuttiness come in different levels and flavors. Extreme excessive lawn art/statues/knick knacks are probably the mildest but most common flavor. You know behind every yard adorned with multiple mirrored balls, gaggles of plastic geese, snow white's seven dwarfs, and mobs of stucco deer lie a crazy person....a crazy awesome person!!

Anyway...yesterday I was delighted to snap pics of this place - yipes!! The home of "Shark Man". He lives a few houses down from a buddy of mine. She said he's into "all things shark"....Understandable. I mean heck, we need sharks up in these Tennessee hills. All we got round here are a buncha' catfish n' crappie! 

I'd love to hear his story, maybe catch him out in his yard one day. Hopefully he'll grant me a tour of his lair.

Better hide your yappy ankle biters (on second thought, don't hide them).....these guys are hungry for blood! 

Shhh, they're having a shark off.

The Race Is On

Hello lads & lassies! 

It's unfortunate I didn't have my camera on hand during last weekend's Knoxville Covenant Health Marathon (half marathon for me). You know magnificent photo ops abound anywhere you find thousands of folks in tight clothes. For instance, I'm looking around while bending down stretching at the starting line and see this vast forest of ankles and new kicks. I was literally standing in a $600,000 sea of tennies...now that's a bunch of sparkly mesh and rubber! "Staying Alive" would've been the perfect theme song for this concrete disco ballroom of tiny reflective lights bouncing from one shoe to the next. A still photo, cool as it might be, would never do this scene justice. And of course the accompanying mixture of traffic sounds, laughter and thousands of chattering voices added an exhilaration factor no photograph could produce. 

Ok, moving on. People ask me if I ran with an mp3 player...wouldn't that make the time go by faster etc?  Well yes and no. I do love music, but then I'd miss all the fun chit-chat swirling about. People hearing is no less entertaining than people watching. Talk of injured body parts, pronation, inflammation, syndromes, weight gain, weight loss, carb loading, power gel shots (gross or delish?), their dog's awesomeness, how much cake they're gonna eat, and BEER...lots and lots of beer. The undulating (and often cracking) vocal pitches produced by pavement pounding was def an added bonus. And you can't forget the wedding singer-esque cover bands at random mile markers. Oh man, the guy singing around mile six (not sure) full-on destroyed Tommy Tutone's 867-5309/Jenny. 

As for me and my performance - sorta slow, but happy. My last half marathon was in 2008 and I was SO not ready for this one. A slight foot injury and other random lower body pains kept me from properly training (and perhaps a touch of laziness). I happily hobbled through the last few miles on nerves and adrenaline then booked the last half mile...the best part! Billy Joel says, "don't forget your second wind" and I didn't (thanks Billy). The finish line was located on the Neyland Stadium football field and your name's announced over the loud speaker upon arrival. A nice perk for me since I've never attended a single UT football game in all my 34 years. At least I got a little slice of UT football fun (enough to tie me over for the next twenty years). Oh, and I LOVED seeing my family wave from the stands..♥.. Can there be two best parts?

Hills Is Where The Toys Are!

My parent's had a garage sale last year 

and I unearthed these old treasures. 

Can you tell we grew up in the 80's? (with the exception of Ren)

HA! This furry bowling pin with a face was my sister's poor 

excuse for an ET doll. Yeah, he's pretty messed up.

Def gonna need some digits before phoning home. 

Last but not least...

My favorite toy as a wee lass, the Fisher Price trucker with his trusty steed.

 My dad & grandmother took me to Hills ("Where The Toys Are", or were) to 

pick out any toy in the store and I ended up with these guys. I thought wow, 

this toy is in superb shape considering how rough I played with it. Even the

 fishing wire I used to drag it around was still tied to the front bumper. 

Knoxville people - Do you remember Hills department store in Fountain City? 

Geez that was forever ago. I witnessed some disturbing things in that

 place...but that's for another day.

Chintzy Hoots

Bought some hooters at Target today - a dollar each, what a steal! 

Guilty lookin' little fellas.

Jusk Call

The moment I finally snap a pic of this sign a lady from "Friends Of Literacy" begins speaking on the radio....."We're always looking for volunteers".

Ok, I get it.

Escapee

I have a visitor! 

Gosh, you must be tired from your extensive travels. 

Come inside & relax on the rug. Dinner will be served soon.

Monday Drivel

My Raisinettes look like tiny baked potatoes. 

Three cheers for meaningless blogging.

The Weight Is A Gift

Yesterday, some time after 6pm, I lost Dewey.... 

My beloved ceiling fan jumping, light chasing, siren howling, hole digging, leg humping, face licking, car riding, river swimming, floor pacing, couch destroying, cushion murdering, fence eating, cheese cutting, headlamp stealing, sandwich swiping, garbage spilling, bunny seeking, escapee turd dropping, tent sleeping, trail hiking, boulder hopping, people loving labrador mix. A dog I've loved since the week of my 21st birthday. It's like this...when you're single with no children of your own, pets are the next closest thing, they sort of are your children. So losing Dewey would've been one crazy huge, jagged edged pill to swallow. A pill made from melted tires rolled in broken glass. Well that was a bit dramatic but I was hurting....a ton. Unlike this escape, the past few he's managed to pull off were brief. We'd quickly find him or he'd return on his own accord within the hour. Something was definitely wrong, strange things were afoot "at the Circle-K". Possible scenarios consistently ran through my brain and sadly, none of them positive. Guess I felt thinking the worst prepared me for the worst. I mean, why prepare hope for a cliff-dive by letting it sore too high? Ugg, we give our thoughts so much power.

Today, some time after 9am, I found Dewey...

Technically my dad found him and all that crappy thinking shifted.....Hope restored! After hours of praying, searching and crying, it unfortunately took seeing to equal believing. I begged God to bring Dewey home safe and scratch free. I even cut a few deals with him, "You do this God and I promise I'll do this".....haha whatever... Fairly certain God wasn't persuaded in the least by my clever bargaining tactics. However, I am quite certain he used this event to show his love for me, his personal love for me, his Tiffany "for-ness". Basically, his interest in the stuff I sometimes feel to be inconsequential to Him. All too often it seems God is mainly interested in BIG things, life altering things, earth shaking "for the greater good" things and not so much the small things (like my heart breaking over the possible loss of my dog). Looking back on recent events, the falsity of this theory was proven and I believed in God's personal, tangible love a tad more than the day before....and....as time passes, he'll prove it a tad more, and a tad more. I've no doubt these "tads" become mountains of faith over time. You just never know when or how you're gonna get em. Last night, I got a few "tads", unwrapped a few "gifts" so-to-speak. For starters, my parent's drove around tirelessly searching, my house-mate put her arms around me and prayed while I cried like a little girl, and several friends/family called or texted encouraging words that I SO needed to hear. It was an all-around sweet deal. But it didn't stop there. With Dewey still M.I.A., this morning was bleak, a total bummer. I needed strong coffee and Starbucks sounded way better than the gnarly office blend awaiting me. Treating myself, I reluctantly cruise in fully aware 5 bucks for coffee is a freakin' rip - but I deserve this right? I pull up to the window and the barista informs me the previous customer bought my drink. Say what?! That put a big ol' smile on my face. Sure, I've heard of folks doing this kind of thing, but c'mon, it's super cool when it happens to you....and I needed it! Now I'm rolling into work feeling a bit more chipper, thanking God for his love note via free Starbucks. Ok, it's flyer making time. "LOST BLACK LAB" etc.etc... Not a minute after applying my flyer's finishing touches, my dad calls with excellent news. He found Dewey. Now I'm not the only one feeling mushy and grinning ear to ear.

Sweet is God's love when your heart weighs a million pounds.

 "The Weight Is A Gift". 

Not the first time that album's popped in my head this week. 

Think I'll play it.

Mountain Fresh Proverbs

Wisdom awaits you at The Smoky Mountain Diner in Hot Springs NC.

But only if you can find the door.

SOLD...

....totally going back to school now. 

Swamp Water

I've been eating on this stuff for a week! I call it swamp water. Once fully cooked, you can't tell what you're eating, just a bowl of greenish brownish floating parts. My friend Dawn was kind enough to share the recipe and help me with my first pot. We do however make it slightly different. I take the lazy route and only throw a few chicken breasts in the mix. But Dawn is no cutter of corners. She boils the whole chicken, bones, skin, gristle and all. And wow, she hacks that thing in record speed. I'm convinced if butchering chickens were an Olympic sport, Dawn would indeed take home the gold. Of course she does remove the majority of bones but it's next to impossible to find all those little guys. So yes I'll admit Dawn's way is tastier, but spitting out crumpled chicken skeleton fragments isn't for everyone.

Ok kids, here's what's hidin' in the pot!...and none of that funny measurin' business. Be adventurous by dumping in whatever you like and however much you like. This is your swamp!

Bok Choy

Green Beans

Brussel Sprouts

Cauliflower

Broccoli

Leeks

Yellow Onion

Mushrooms

"Better Than Bouillon" (& it is way better than bouillon by the way)

Olive Oil (if you're a breast only person)

Locally, one can buy all the ingredients for under $30 and eat for eternity......sort of.

So Much For Zoning Out