The Weight Is A Gift

Yesterday, some time after 6pm, I lost Dewey.... 

My beloved ceiling fan jumping, light chasing, siren howling, hole digging, leg humping, face licking, car riding, river swimming, floor pacing, couch destroying, cushion murdering, fence eating, cheese cutting, headlamp stealing, sandwich swiping, garbage spilling, bunny seeking, escapee turd dropping, tent sleeping, trail hiking, boulder hopping, people loving labrador mix. A dog I've loved since the week of my 21st birthday. It's like this...when you're single with no children of your own, pets are the next closest thing, they sort of are your children. So losing Dewey would've been one crazy huge, jagged edged pill to swallow. A pill made from melted tires rolled in broken glass. Well that was a bit dramatic but I was hurting....a ton. Unlike this escape, the past few he's managed to pull off were brief. We'd quickly find him or he'd return on his own accord within the hour. Something was definitely wrong, strange things were afoot "at the Circle-K". Possible scenarios consistently ran through my brain and sadly, none of them positive. Guess I felt thinking the worst prepared me for the worst. I mean, why prepare hope for a cliff-dive by letting it sore too high? Ugg, we give our thoughts so much power.

Today, some time after 9am, I found Dewey...

Technically my dad found him and all that crappy thinking shifted.....Hope restored! After hours of praying, searching and crying, it unfortunately took seeing to equal believing. I begged God to bring Dewey home safe and scratch free. I even cut a few deals with him, "You do this God and I promise I'll do this".....haha whatever... Fairly certain God wasn't persuaded in the least by my clever bargaining tactics. However, I am quite certain he used this event to show his love for me, his personal love for me, his Tiffany "for-ness". Basically, his interest in the stuff I sometimes feel to be inconsequential to Him. All too often it seems God is mainly interested in BIG things, life altering things, earth shaking "for the greater good" things and not so much the small things (like my heart breaking over the possible loss of my dog). Looking back on recent events, the falsity of this theory was proven and I believed in God's personal, tangible love a tad more than the day before....and....as time passes, he'll prove it a tad more, and a tad more. I've no doubt these "tads" become mountains of faith over time. You just never know when or how you're gonna get em. Last night, I got a few "tads", unwrapped a few "gifts" so-to-speak. For starters, my parent's drove around tirelessly searching, my house-mate put her arms around me and prayed while I cried like a little girl, and several friends/family called or texted encouraging words that I SO needed to hear. It was an all-around sweet deal. But it didn't stop there. With Dewey still M.I.A., this morning was bleak, a total bummer. I needed strong coffee and Starbucks sounded way better than the gnarly office blend awaiting me. Treating myself, I reluctantly cruise in fully aware 5 bucks for coffee is a freakin' rip - but I deserve this right? I pull up to the window and the barista informs me the previous customer bought my drink. Say what?! That put a big ol' smile on my face. Sure, I've heard of folks doing this kind of thing, but c'mon, it's super cool when it happens to you....and I needed it! Now I'm rolling into work feeling a bit more chipper, thanking God for his love note via free Starbucks. Ok, it's flyer making time. "LOST BLACK LAB" etc.etc... Not a minute after applying my flyer's finishing touches, my dad calls with excellent news. He found Dewey. Now I'm not the only one feeling mushy and grinning ear to ear.

Sweet is God's love when your heart weighs a million pounds.

 "The Weight Is A Gift". 

Not the first time that album's popped in my head this week. 

Think I'll play it.